I'm Only Going to Break Your Heart
by a.silver.rainbow
Summary: In the end, only scars are left.


_Now listen to me,  
before I love and leave you.  
They call me heart breaker,  
and I don't want to deceive you._

_If you fall for me,  
I'm not easy to please.  
I might tear you apart,  
told you from the start, baby from the start._

_- Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris._

_

* * *

_

Ripples.

The world's a curious place, isn't it?

I dropped a stone into a pond, and it created ripples, spreading further and further away, a chain effect.

Cause, effect.

The fishes that were swimming around the place where I dropped the stone were scared away, and moved away immediately. Some water splashed on me.

All I did was one action, and so many things happened instantaneously.

Hell, I learnt that in Science from my parents. Food chain, too, right? Predator and prey. One wrong move disrupts the whole fucking thing.

The whole concept of this world seems to revolve around that.

I can't believe it. Me, one of the smartest witches of my generation, and I only just figured it out. The whole world knows, and yet I didn't. I had to let it happen to me, before I understood that life wasn't fair. That things were not supposed to happen, and yet they did.

Cause, effect.

One wrong person can screw up your entire life.

One wrong decision you make can make you regret being born.

And I was the person to make the wrong move. I was the one who let myself become vulnerable. I was the one who broke my own heart.

I was the one.

I stare at the picture in my hand.

I was smiling, and so was he. He told me from the start. He was a heartbreaker. But I told myself, that this time he had changed. That he had never looked happier in his entire life with someone else. That I was the one who made him like that.

And that he loved me, because he told me so. The picture was taken the day he first said that. Those words, which made my heart do a somersault, made a smile on my face every time. Who cares if I had a bad day? As long as I heard those words, it would be alright.

I still remember the day he told me he liked me, inexplicitly, though. He climbed up onto his table, and shouted it. The entire Great Hall heard it. That he liked me. He asked me out, on that day too. He told me that he had been watching me the entire year, but never got the guts to ask me out, until that day. I believed every lie. His face looked so sincere, and he was such a gentleman that I always thought the best of him. I didn't listen to the rumors.

Now, I realize, the rumors were the truth. Every little whisper that used to circulate around school was correct. It was the truth all along, but I never cared about it. I always thought it was false. I always believed him. "He must be laughing, now," I whispered to myself bitterly.

In fact, I'm the laughing stock of the whole fucking school. I would hear them talking about us whenever I walked by with him. A _Gryffindor_, with a _Slytherin_? It wasn't right. And now, they'll just be talking about how he humiliated me.

He didn't love me anymore.

_He didn't love me._

I guess every single kiss, every single word, was a _lie_.

* * *

I refused to let him hurt me on the outside. And so I ran on automatic pilot. I was a robot. I did my work; I had to keep up my grades, didn't I? I ignored the whispers, and the rumors. Apparently, I was an evil bitch and an easy lay. I don't know how that came about, seeing that I wasn't the one who dumped the other. Unfortunately, even the teachers had to remind me of my humiliation. Professor McGonagall called me back and asked how I was doing. I had to lie through my teeth, holding back tears. To no avail, anyway. She looks unconvinced. I ran back to my common room as quickly as possible.

Walking to class makes me feel nostalgic, too. I would pass by the oak tree. _Our_ tree. Almost every afternoon, we would sit underneath it and talk. Just talk. And just to add salt to my fucking bleeding wound, I saw him underneath it the other day. With another girl. I had to stare determinedly ahead of me and walk pass quickly, lest I cried right there and then, in front of him.

It hurt so much.

Did he think of me? Would he glance at me when we were eating in the Great Hall? I desperately wished it was true, though I knew the chances were slim. All I wanted to do was look into those grey eyes, and listen to him telling me that everything would be alright. That it was just a scheme to prove my devotion to him, that he really loved me.

And that he would never leave me.

Every day, I would hope. And every day, my heart would break. Again and again, when I saw him. Not sparing a glance at me, eying someone else. And I swear, I saw a smirk flutter across his features. Mocking me now, isn't he? Bastard. Fucking Bastard.

I believed a fucking bastard.

I loved a fucking bastard.

I let a fucking bastard _break my heart_.

This is it. I've finally sunk to the bottom. This has to be the worst part of my life. And so it has to get better, right? It's all uphill from here.

But it's the exact opposite.

* * *

"You still love me, don't you?" I heard an accusing voice from behind me. An all too familiar one. Of all things to happen, here? Now? On our own graduation? Of course, he was always the coward, wasn't he? He would never see me again after this day. Best, wasn't it? Never seeing me again.

"Don't be a bastard. I got over you a long time ago," I replied. Ice.

"Don't lie. I know you too well, remember? You still do," He smirked. I raised an eyebrow. Did he, now? Well, good for him. _Then how could be break my heart, but still 'know me'?_ Bastard.

"Then you should know when I mean things. I _hate_ you."

"You don't."

He was right, I didn't. I still loved him. I still did, no matter what happened. Though I told myself not to, though my family comforted me and told me he was a piece of crap that I should ignore for the rest of my life.

I still loved him. I still yearned for his touch. His love.

"What is it to you? You don't _care_," I spat at him.

"How would you know?" He retorted.

"Oh, sure. Fuck all the girls in our year, didn't you? Of course, you cared. That explains _everything_."

"Look-"

"No. I don't care. I don't give a damn about the shit you do anymore. And you don't care about me at all. Fuck all the girls in the entire _world_, for all I care. You're a coward, you know? And an inconsiderate one at that. Interrupting my graduation, one of the supposed happiest days of my life," I snorted, "though I wouldn't say that with you here. But that's not the point. Maybe, maybe I do still love you. So? You would just use the fact that I do and make me even more miserable," I paused to catch my breath, and continued, "and I hope you rot in that Manor of yours, by the way."

And Rose Weasly spun around and left a gaping Scorpius Malfoy in her wake.

She never felt better.

* * *

OKAY I'M SORRY. I HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST. OOF.

I'm not sure about this one, so please tell me if there's anything that's wrong! Thanks. (:


End file.
